The Hurt,The fun,The SHIT..i just love it all

I was going fine untill....untill i saw the photos again.I just imagined myself there,wouldn't it be better if i was there?I cant concentrate in class anymore nowadays.Everybody seems to go along fine except for me,what is that suppose to mean?U want to know wat i saw?It is my passion,my life,the thing that we all love...FOOTBALL<3.....yes.I was looking at my old school football teams picture and the person missing from there was me.....why did i leave?Why am i such a fool?When i play with them i feel like we could beat any team in the world,i feel free,i feel connected.Can i ever get that here?10 years of friendship,we dont even need to plan,we just need to look at eachother and we already know wat we want....not just in football...in everything....can i get friends like that here?

A day

I felt it all over again.The feeling of loneliness when i know that all my besties are not beside me.I will do anything,just anything to have things like last time.Yea sure we fight but we are always closer when we get on level terms with each other.Spending a day with them...i just wished time would stop and stay like that but its reality so yea....I will NOT move on..cause i only have 3 words....I MISS YOU....

Home

I just visited my old school today and if i had to say it in a word its this word,HOME.I felt so at home,my friends,teachers and parents.They all seem to care for me.I felt at peace wishing that time would just stop and i could be there forever but its reality.Life has to go on and all i have now are memories of them.I will take all of it because i just love them...Out not...post tomorrow...parents scolding...pfft

Fitting In

Tomorrow is THEME DAY and i am the only one not attending it.I really don't like these kind of things.You can ask me do stupid stuff crazy stuff but this just ain't really my thing.I guess i haven't gotten used to the culture yet.I guess the word is,i just don't fit in.Everybody seems happy about the new school except for me.It's not the people inside i promise.It's just me.I mean like 10 years of memories just down the drain.I guess i am not willing to let go yet,I have unfinished business to do in my old school and yea....bottom line....I DON'T FIT IN....

Her again

Why does she always reappear in my life again?I just saw her again and it just brought back my memories.Very painful ones indeed.I though that if I just never saw her again it would be just alright but NO!It just wouldn't go away.Is it telling me something.That i should ask her again?For one more chance.It would be so akward wouldn't it?All i ask was just to be friends and she does not want that,she says that she wants to be the one.Why!Why cant we just be friends?Isn't friends good enough?I guess i can never understand you,never did,never will.

Memories

Happy memories,sad memories,painfull memories.....it's all still worth keeping to me.A lot of people tell me to take the good but leave the bad.I won't!!!For it's just no use doing that.A person bonds deeper only when they go through sad and painful times together.As a saying goes,"it's the journey not the destination."

Sports Day

Life if going well.Very good i say but there's something that i am very depressed about.It's my ex-school sports day!!!!!!!!!!!!!I can't get it out of my head.I just miss the times where my friends and I ran side by side not caring about the shirt colour we are in.We just ran because we love to.Friends at the side who were not running was cheering us on.I miss those times.NO.I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO GET IT AGAIN.They mean everything to me.Without them,i guess i won't be who i am today.They molded me from being a person hating life to a person that loves it and not wasting a single second cause,life is short.....unfortunately i can't be part of it this year.I guess people sometimes have to let go even though it hurts.....I had sleepless nights cause i just can't stop thinking about you all....that's how much you all mean to me.....You all will never be replaced always having a space in my heart but at the same time i need to find new friends cause i think i will just stop functioning without them....so here it goes.....GOOD LUCK TO THOSE THAT ARE RUNNING TOMORROW!!!!!!!!

A whole new chapter

Its been awhile since i bloged...so yea.Here it goes.I am in a new school now.Yea,it was sad,very sad at the end of the year but everything is Gods will...so yea,i just went without any regrets.I had no idea what it would be like.It's O levels man!!!!!!So yea....On the first day,3 words.....OMG!!!!!Have u ever seen a Joshua,sitting still from 9-5....yea!!!!Thats right!I was just sitting alone....being antisocial just thinking about my computer games untill.Before i knew it....it was alredy 4.45....went back home....sleep...same thing except...all us were rearranged based on our electives,i was put in 4ONYX.....not bad class though :P......same thing happend....ANTISOCIAL!!!!!!!!!Then the next day....it was much better.....this guy with a mushroom head named LEONARD came to me and said hi....so yea...made a friend there.....as days turned into days and days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months.....i got to know a lot more ppl.And yea...this school isn't the same as other schools.This school has friends and teachers that take you for who you are and not what you are.But no matter what happens....the memories that was engraved onto my heart will never go away cause because of them,I would not be who i am today.....